8 Strategies for Dealing with Picky Eaters Positively

Is mealtime a battlefield in your home? You’re not alone. Many parents struggle with how to handle picky eaters. It’s a common challenge that can be frustrating. Parents often worry about their child’s nutrition.
But here’s some good news: picky eating is usually normal. It’s often just a phase in child development. With the right approach, you can navigate this stage more easily.
In this post, we’ll explore positive strategies for picky eating. These strategies can transform your family mealtimes. They can turn stressful situations into enjoyable ones. By focusing on positive experiences around food, you’ll see changes:
- Mealtimes will become more pleasant
- Your child will develop a healthier relationship with eating
- You’ll feel more confident in handling food challenges
Are you ready to turn the tables on picky eating? Let’s dig in and discover how to make mealtimes better for everyone!
Understanding Picky Eating Behavior
Picky eating is common among children. It often starts around toddlerhood. Understanding this behavior can help you handle it better.
When does picky eating typically occur?
Picky eating usually starts between ages 2 and 6. It’s part of a child’s normal development. During this time, children are:
- Developing food preferences
- Learning to assert independence
- Experiencing changes in growth rate and appetite
Why do children become picky eaters?
There are several reasons why a child might be selective about food:
- Neophobia: A fear of new foods. This is a natural survival instinct.
- Sensory sensitivities: Some children are more sensitive to tastes, textures, or smells.
- Control: Food choices can be a way for children to exert control over their environment.
- Past experiences: Negative associations with certain foods can lead to avoidance.
How can you tell if picky eating is normal or a concern?
Most picky eating is normal. However, some signs might indicate a need for professional help:
- Extreme limitation of foods (eating less than 20 different foods)
- Nutritional deficiencies or failure to grow
- Avoiding entire food groups
- Showing anxiety or distress around new foods
- Difficulty swallowing or gagging on foods
Remember, every child is unique. What’s normal for one may not be for another. If you’re concerned, it’s always best to consult with your pediatrician.
Why Positive Approaches Matter
How we handle picky eating can shape a child’s relationship with food. Positive approaches can make a big difference. Let’s explore why they’re so important.
Negative mealtime experiences can have lasting effects:
- They can increase stress and anxiety around food.
- Children may develop a fear of trying new foods.
- It might lead to power struggles between parents and children.
On the other hand, positive reinforcement can work wonders:
- It creates a relaxed atmosphere around meals.
- Children are more likely to try new foods willingly.
- It builds a healthy relationship with food that lasts into adulthood.
Long-term benefits of positive approaches include:
- Better nutrition: Children are more open to a variety of foods.
- Healthier eating habits: They learn to listen to their body’s hunger cues.
- Less mealtime stress: Eating becomes enjoyable for the whole family.
- Improved self-esteem: Children feel respected and valued.
Remember, change takes time. Be patient with your child and yourself. Small, consistent steps towards positivity can lead to big changes over time.

Strategy 1: Make Mealtimes Fun and Pressure-Free
Creating a relaxed atmosphere during meals can work wonders. It helps reduce stress for both you and your child. Here’s how to make mealtimes more enjoyable:
Remove the pressure:
Pressure can make picky eating worse. Try these tips:
- Don’t force your child to eat everything on their plate.
- Avoid bribing or punishing for eating or not eating.
- Let your child decide how much to eat.
Make meals engaging:
Fun meals can encourage eating. Here are some ideas:
- Use colorful plates or fun utensils.
- Cut food into interesting shapes.
- Give foods funny names (like “dinosaur trees” for broccoli).
- Play soft background music during meals.
Create a positive environment:
The right atmosphere can make a big difference:
- Eat together as a family when possible.
- Keep conversation light and positive.
- Turn off screens during mealtimes.
- Praise your child for trying new foods, even if they don’t eat much.
Remember, the goal is to make mealtimes pleasant. When children associate eating with fun, they’re more likely to be open to new foods.
Strategy 2: Involve Kids in Food Preparation
Getting children involved in meal preparation can increase their interest in food. It gives them a sense of ownership and pride. Here’s how to involve your kids:
Age-appropriate kitchen tasks:
Even young children can help in the kitchen. Adjust tasks based on your child’s age and skills:
- 2-3 years old: Wash fruits and vegetables, tear lettuce for salads.
- 4-5 years old: Measure dry ingredients, mix batters, set the table.
- 6-7 years old: Peel fruits, use a butter knife to cut soft foods.
- 8+ years old: Follow simple recipes, use basic kitchen tools under supervision.
Shopping together:
Make grocery trips a learning experience:
- Let your child choose a new fruit or vegetable to try.
- Ask them to find items on your list.
- Teach them to read food labels and compare products.
- Discuss where different foods come from.
Growing food at home:
Gardening can spark interest in eating vegetables:
- Start with easy-to-grow herbs like basil or mint.
- Plant cherry tomatoes or strawberries in pots.
- Let your child water the plants and watch them grow.
- Celebrate when it’s time to harvest and eat what you’ve grown.
Involving kids in food preparation teaches them valuable skills. It also makes them more likely to try the foods they’ve helped create.
Strategy 3: Present Foods Creatively
How food looks can influence whether a child wants to eat it. Creative presentation can make meals more appealing. Here are some ways to make food fun:
Food art ideas:
Turn meals into edible masterpieces:
- Make a face on a plate using different fruits and vegetables.
- Create a rainbow with colorful foods.
- Use cookie cutters to shape sandwiches or cheese slices.
- Arrange food to look like animals or characters.
Creative naming techniques:
Giving foods fun names can make them more exciting:
- Call broccoli “little trees” or “dinosaur food”.
- Rename mashed potatoes as “cloud fluff”.
- Call carrot sticks “X-ray vision sticks”.
- Dub smoothies “superhero fuel”.
Presentation tips:
How you serve food matters:
- Use colorful plates or fun-shaped bowls.
- Serve dips with vegetables to make them more appealing.
- Create food kebabs with fruits or vegetables.
- Make mini versions of foods – kids often like smaller portions.
Remember, the goal is to make food look fun and inviting. This can encourage your child to try new things.
Strategy 4: Practice the Division of Responsibility
The Division of Responsibility is a feeding approach developed by dietitian Ellyn Satter. It helps create a positive mealtime environment. Here’s how it works:
Parent’s role:
As a parent, you are responsible for:
- What foods are offered
- When meals and snacks are served
- Where eating takes place
Child’s role:
Your child is responsible for:
- Whether they eat
- How much they eat
This approach helps set clear boundaries. It also respects your child’s ability to self-regulate.
How to implement:
- Offer a variety of healthy foods at each meal.
- Include at least one food your child usually likes.
- Set regular meal and snack times.
- Let your child decide how much to eat from what you’ve served.
- Avoid pressuring, praising, or bribing about eating.
Maintaining consistency:
- Stick to this approach even when progress seems slow.
- Trust that your child will learn to eat a variety of foods over time.
- Remember that appetites can vary from day to day.
The Division of Responsibility can reduce mealtime stress. It helps children develop a healthy relationship with food.

Strategy 5: Model Healthy Eating Habits
Children often mimic what they see. As a parent, you play a crucial role in shaping your child’s eating habits. Here’s how to be a positive food role model:
Family meals matter:
Eating together has many benefits:
- It allows children to observe good eating habits.
- It provides a chance for family bonding.
- Kids are more likely to try new foods in a family setting.
Try to have family meals as often as possible. Even a few times a week can make a difference.
Show positive food attitudes:
Your attitude towards food is contagious. Here’s what you can do:
- Express enjoyment when eating healthy foods.
- Try new foods yourself and show enthusiasm.
- Talk about the flavors, textures, and origins of foods.
- Involve your child in conversations about healthy eating.
Avoid negative food talk:
Be mindful of how you speak about food:
- Don’t label foods as “good” or “bad”.
- Avoid talking negatively about your own body or weight.
- Don’t use food as a reward or punishment.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. When you model healthy eating, your child is more likely to develop good habits too.
Strategy 6: Offer Choices Within Limits
Giving children choices can help them feel more in control. This can make them more willing to try new foods. Here’s how to offer choices effectively:
How to present options:
- Offer two or three healthy choices.
- Keep the options simple and clear.
- Use visual cues if needed, like showing the actual foods.
For example, you might ask: “Would you like carrots or cucumber with your sandwich?”
Maintain control while giving freedom:
- You decide what choices to offer.
- All options should be foods you’re okay with your child eating.
- Stick to the choices offered. Don’t give in if they ask for something else.
Example scenarios:
- Breakfast: “Do you want oatmeal with berries or whole-grain toast with banana?”
- Snack time: “Would you like apple slices or orange segments?”
- Dinner sides: “Should we have peas or green beans with our chicken tonight?”
Offering choices helps children feel involved. It can reduce mealtime battles. Remember, the key is to offer limited, healthy options.
Strategy 7: Be Patient with New Foods
Introducing new foods takes time and patience. Children often need multiple exposures before accepting a new food. Here’s how to approach this process:
The “15-20 exposures” rule:
Research suggests that children may need to see or taste a new food 15-20 times before accepting it. This means:
- Don’t give up after the first few tries.
- Keep offering the food regularly.
- Be consistent but patient in your approach.
Small portions approach:
When introducing new foods:
- Offer very small amounts, like a single pea or a tiny slice of carrot.
- Place the new food alongside familiar favorites.
- Encourage your child to just look at, touch, or smell the new food if they’re hesitant to taste it.
Progress tracking ideas:
- Use a sticker chart to mark each time your child tries a new food.
- Keep a food diary to note small improvements over time.
- Celebrate small wins, like touching or licking a new food.
Remember, progress may be slow. Focus on the journey, not just the end goal. Every positive interaction with a new food is a step forward.

Strategy 8: Celebrate Small Wins
Recognizing progress, no matter how small, can encourage your child to continue trying new foods. Here’s how to celebrate these small victories:
Defining progress:
Progress isn’t just about eating new foods. It can include:
- Touching or smelling a new food
- Putting a new food on their plate
- Taking a tiny taste, even if they don’t swallow it
- Eating a familiar food prepared in a new way
Non-food reward ideas:
Avoid using food as a reward. Instead, try:
- Verbal praise and encouragement
- Stickers or stamps on a chart
- Extra playtime or a special activity
- A small toy or book
Building confidence:
Celebrating small wins helps build your child’s confidence:
- Point out their bravery in trying something new
- Remind them of past successes when facing new challenges
- Encourage them to share their experiences with family members
Remember, the goal is to create positive associations with new foods. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.
Moving Forward: Your Action Plan
Now that we’ve covered 8 strategies for dealing with picky eaters, let’s create an action plan. This will help you implement these ideas effectively.
Summary of key strategies:
- Make mealtimes fun and pressure-free
- Involve kids in food preparation
- Present foods creatively
- Practice the Division of Responsibility
- Model healthy eating habits
- Offer choices within limits
- Be patient with new foods
- Celebrate small wins
Quick-start tips:
- Choose one strategy to focus on each week
- Start with the strategy that feels most doable for your family
- Be consistent in your approach
- Involve all caregivers in the plan
When to seek professional help:
While picky eating is often normal, consult a pediatrician if:
- Your child is losing weight
- They refuse entire food groups for extended periods
- Picky eating is causing significant family stress
- You suspect an underlying medical issue
Remember, changing eating habits takes time. Be patient with yourself and your child. Every small step counts towards healthier eating habits.
